Local Walmarts, pharmacies, and adult book stores are all reporting they have sold out of lubrication tonight following the announcement of a new gun range coming to the Highlands.
GUNTRY, an indoor shooting and training announced they’re bringing their second location to the highlands.
“I read about it this morning at work and immediately told my boss I had the bubble guts and I raced to CVS and picked up their last bottle of lube,” said Rob Lucas. “I was so damn excited I thought I was going to explode right there at work.”
Some local gun enthusiasts were not so lucky.
“My boss is a liberal and doesn’t understand how excited you can get with an announcement like this,” said Greg Hermington. “I went to 3 different stores and couldn’t find any lube. I ended up dry gloving it. Doctor said it should heal up in a few weeks.”
“I was really hoping for a third Sheetz but this is even better,” said Steve Dillinsgey. “I already had some lube at home so I didn’t need to race out and get any. I ended up ordering more on Amazon to be ready though.”
The new location is set to be open in 2024 and doctors are urging men not to dry glove it but rather buy lube. If there’s no local lube available, they suggest ordering online or warming a donut in the microwave.
The GUNTRY Club of Maryland is a high-end shooting and firearms training facility for members and the general public in Ownings Mills, Maryland, according to a Visit Wheeling, WV. Geared towards firearms education and gun safety, the club features multiple indoor ranges, including Maryland’s only 100-yard indoor range, a state-of-the-art, 340-degree interactive simulator, and an 80-person training room.
