Scott Adams, candidate for West Virginia State Senate who was placed on administrative leave during his time with the Brooke County Sheriff’s department, has announced he has dropped out of the race after a photo leaked allegedly showing Adams smiling.
“I love Trump, finger-banging myself to the thoughts of guns, God and not smiling at all in life,” says Adams. “This is why I am ashamed to say I did smile once in a photo when I heard a fart sound exit the anals of another man.”
Adams says the photo of him smiling has hurt his campaign and his tough guy approach of not smiling for the past 30 years has made him reconsider running.
“I’m really a small guy and I didn’t get to take out my anger enough as a cop and I like to show that by not smiling in photos ever,” added Adams. Even if it’s a nice Easter photo with my family, I have to look like someone just murdered my favorite pet.”
When asked if he’ll ever smile again, he said not as long as there are people in this world who aren’t American Christians.
